R.I.P. Little White Geisha Box

Late last night my XBox succumbed to the red rings.  She will be sadly missed.  (2006-2010)

She leaves behind many games and controllers.

Repost: A Love Affair in Pixelation

Today I was reading another blog of a friend of mine and he had an interesting quote that really got me thinking.

“I have the love of my life: my video games. They please me in ways no woman has in years. And unlike a woman, they actually give me “achievement points” when I accomplish something. Now if that ain’t love, what is?”

It made me wonder, “is Dave onto something?” is there more to life then flesh and blood. And it brings to mind Philip K. Dick’s classic, “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?” How does one judge feelings. Does your teddy bear miss you while you frolic in the real world and become ecstatic when you return to bed, or does a frosty mug live in a constant drunken stooper?

Not to get to far off track in a philosophical sense, back to Dave’s original hypothesis. Is the XBox a man’s true love?

I can say without shame, I love my little “Geisha Box”, her sensual white exterior always silent and mysterious, waiting only to please me. I have never been told “no” or “I have a headache, lets play another day.” She waits only to service me at my every beck and call, day or night, hot or cold she never refuses my advances. My girl lets me play what I want, how I want and and as often as I want. Heck I can even play with a buddies XBox or even invite all my friends over to watch my eyes roll back into my head as I download all sorts of new content for my favorite titles.

Now your first argument may be, “Obi my XBox has said no or died.” My answer is, exactly, you got hit with the “Red Ring of Death” ie a XBox period. What do you do at that point, either send her back to get “technical therapy” or buy a new one that will cooperate. Imagine it like Stone Age Love.

All sounds love and luxury right? Wrong. My XBox can irritate the ever living shit out of me, have you ever spent a day and a half trying to advance 13 minutes into a storyline only to have that two-timing electronic hussy freeze up only to laugh at you while you hold your head and cry to yourself. That bitch is one cold and manipulative traitor, I am almost positive that my XBox is in cahoots with MERCK, the makers of the most commonly prescribed hypertension medication and I am about 3 games from needing a lifetime prescription.

How does this all end? If I post again, then my beautiful wife is much more understanding then the sadistic “other woman” who would erase all my game data if she knew I was talking this way and has decide I am worth savoring and deserves all the love I can share.