Retro Re-Post: NIGERIAN SCHEMES: Scheming the Schemers


So a month or so ago bought one of those netbooks from Target, they come in varying sizes and I think I bought the wrong size. The keyboard was cramped and I was always hitting the wrong keys, my emails were a mess. So I did what people usually do with electronics in those situations, I looked to Craigslist.

I got a few bites from people in the area that would pay a decent price, but both wanted a factory restore, now this would not be a problem with a regular PC, but with a netbook you have no disc drive so doing a system restore means purchasing an external disc drive. Sort of defeats the purpose of selling something worth $300 bucks huh?

So then the emails too good to be true started… and so did the fun. My first batch of emails came from:
mattew900@gmail
royalversion@gmail.com
lilianray10@gmail
They all contained bad grammar and hard luck stories asking me to send my laptop over seas for purchase. My response was to just delete the emails leaving them to wonder in the interwebs limbo.

Finally after a few days I received an email from Madam Bebe at madambebe2000@gmail and here is our exchanges.

MadamBebe
Hi there,
Do you still have this item on craigslist post advert,if yes get back
to me for my attention as i am interested in purchasing this item.

Regards

ObiWan Canubi
yes

MadameBebe
Thank you very much for your mail,…..can it be presented as a gift?
I will offer you US $450.00 including the shipping overseas, Am buying this item for my step daughter getting wedded next wk,.. i will be glad if you can get back to me with your paypal email account i will like to make the payment through paypal cos i believe its the best to make an online transaction. kindly get back to me with your paypal account so as to pay ASAP.

Thanks.
Hope to hear from you.

ObiWan Canubi
Wow you are so generous, please send your address I will mail it right away.

MadameBebe
ok thanks address below …..

Name ….Stella t. Oluwole
Address…No 27 oluwanishola street anfani lay out ring road ibadan.
City……Ibadan
country…..Nigeria.
Phone……+23435705229.

So get the item ship to the address giving to you and get back to me with your paypal email address so that i can pay you the money including your phone number so that i can contact you assoon as i send the money so get the item ship out now..

Thanks
Nice doing business.

(So I guess I ship before she pays??? LOL)

ObiWan Canubi
Wow you live in Nigeria? I hear there are a lot of scams there. Be very careful.

I mail your package today. God bless you, your generosity will enable my child to receive his liver transplant that he has so needed.

MadameBebe
Hi been waiting week, you send electronic item yet.

ObiWan Canubi
Hi

Have you received the computer? I hope everything works to your expectations. I still have not received payment through paypal as of yet. Could you please check your records to see if it was sent. Thank you.

MadameBebe
No I be very worried. I have no internet access right now could you please check tracking number.

ObiWan Canubi
Hi I checked the tracking number, it says the package is still in US Customs.

MadameBebe
ok get back to me with the number so that i can verify

ObiWan Canubi
Sure thing, the pnone number you sent me is +23435705229. I hate when I lose my number, I can never memorize the thing.

MadameBebe
No thenk you, i need the tracking number so I can track the package to here.

ObiWan Canubi
I will call you with the tracking number, I hate email it to you and have it intercepted by seamonkeys.

MadameBebe
please use mail.

ObiWan Canubi
ok I mailed you a letter with the tracking number.

MadameBebe
hello friend what going on over there get back to me with the trackling number so that i can do mush done

(I still can’t figure out what “so that I can do mush done” means.)

ObiWan Canubi
hmmm. i don’t know what is going on. you didn’t receive the computer yet? please let me know what tracking number you are using.

wow, i hope it is not lost.

MadameBebe
Please need you send my your tracking number

ObiWan Canubi
Hi Bebe

I would hate you be accused of cultural insensitivity, but your English in the last message was terrible and I do not understand your request.

Thanks

MadameBebe
Please I need your tracking number

ObiWan Canubi
I really think you should use your own, I have a cold and would hate to give you a virus.

MadameBebe
Did you mail electronic item yet?

ObiWan Canubi
We are currently experiencing technical difficulties, please stand by….

beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

MadameBebe
Please kindly do not fool around, I have purchased an item from you and I would like it.

ObiWan Canubi
Purchased? Here in America, purchased means you have paid for the item. I have not received your funds transfer yet.

MadameBebe
I will send you the money once I have recieve electronic item and had time to inspect.

ObiWan Canubi
I before E, except after C

MadameBebe
excuse me?

ObiWan Canubi
I believe that was a statement, you should not have used a question mark.

Regards

MadameBebe
I do not need grammar lessons, I will like my electronic item.

ObiWan Canubi
Oh but you do.

MadameBebe
If the foolishness not stop I report you to craigslist management.

ObiWan Canubi
Yes, I invite you to contact them and tell them I have not yet received payment and you have not received your item. They will laugh. Did you see how I used the I before E except after C in the prior sentence? That is proper English.

MadameBebe
I no deal with you any longer.

ObiWan Canubi
But what about the money for my son’s transplant?

MadameBebe
I know deal with you anylonger.

ObiWan Canubi
Remember I before E… Except after C. And you should get to know your no’s.

MadameBebe
I am confused by your last email

ObiWan Canubi
I will try to find you a copy of Hooked on Phonics, it would do you and your fellow scammers a world of difference when trying to run a con.

ps I was planning on selling this AsusEee but I have used it so much emailing with you I have begun to get use to the small keyboard and plan to keep it.

Thanks for your assistance.

(She has never responded to this last email)

Boy did I have fun with her, I actually think I will make this a regular feature here… only I won’t continue on for so long, we were returning 4-5 email each a day.

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About The Shogun of Baseball

Geek, lover of Baseball, avid comic reader, Bruce Lee fan, follower of Jesus and last but Never least Dad and Husband. View all posts by The Shogun of Baseball

2 responses to “Retro Re-Post: NIGERIAN SCHEMES: Scheming the Schemers

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