The Oscar Awards Winners Are…

Because like the Grammy’s the awards will be evenly divided between the films that showcase Hollywood’s best faces. Expect to see Martin Scorsese and the folks of Hugo make several trips.  Why don’t they call the Oscars the “yearly celebration of one film and the ‘thanks for coming’ participation awards of a few others.” It will never be anything more.

So here we will have no singing, no horrible skits, and no crappy host.  And best of all this will take you 5 minutes tops, I have under cut the Academy by 3 hours and 6 minutes run time.

Michael Emerson presenting for Best Actor – In a year with no real stand out performances it was an easy choice to select Jake Gyllenhaal for his work in Source Code not an easy job to act your way out of a half-body in a tube.

Tony Jaa presenting for Best Foreign Film – This is always the most stacked category and so hard to decide, not because I love Far Eastern Films, but because you are chosing from a pool of dozens of countries, not just one.  Without further delay, the winner is not only the best from a distant land, but also a Top 3 in best over all.  From South Korea The Man From Nowhere not only made Bon Win a solidified action star, with a real taste for acting without his fists when needed.

Stan Lee presenting for Best Adaptation Film – Comic book to film is very in these days, and with flop after flop trying to be the next Batman franchise Priest put forward the best effort from paper to celluloid.

Edward James Almos presenting for Best Film I Have Yet to See – The only film out there I have yet to get my hands on that I have not have the time to see is In Time , how is it that my life has come to desiring to seek out Justin Timberlake? #Confused

Bill Murray presenting for Best Movie From 2010 that I Didn’t See Until 2011 – I didn’t see it because I thought it was a dramatic/artsy version of Save The Last Dance.  Nope, complete psycho flick.  Black Swan will forever be the film that surprised me the most.  Went into the film planning to hate it, but was blown away by how deep it was, and how convincing Natalie Portman can be as an actress.

Sandra Bullock presenting for Biggest Film disappointment in 2011 – When someone you actually respect (Seth Rogan), takes a comic book you have loved since childhood and creates an insult like Green Hornet you sometimes wonder if they should consider public stocks and rotten tomatoes.  Mostly the fault of what they thought would be creative action sequences, the Hornet-Kato strained relationship angle just did not work.

Lisa Lampanelli presenting for Best Actress – Emily Blunt for her work in the film the Adjustment bureau.

John Cleese presenting for Best Trailer – One day soon we will all finally see The Raid, but not yet, not unless you are in Indonesia.  Garth Evans won so big Sony bought the rights to probably keep it out of America just to release their remake.  The trailer is 50% Game of Death and 50 % Dirty Harry.

Christian Bale presenting for Best Indie Film – Like the foreign films this category has a plethora of good choices, but for different reasons.  To make a film on a short budget you need to focus on story and development and can not rely on Megatron-sized special effects to carry your audience for 2 hours.  Kevin Smith has made a career out of films with great stories and limited budgets that usually limit filming to one local.  This time instead of a mall or storefront Kevin Smith took us to a small town loaded with a different kind of crazies then Jay and Bob in Red State.

Vince Shlomi presenting for Best Documentary – Has Morgan Spurlock ever disappointed?  No. The Greatest Movie Ever Sold.

Sylvester Stallone presenting for Best Film – You could give this film any number of accolades, best sci-fi, best Spielberg comeback film, but “Best Film” sums up Super 8 perfectly.  A little bit E.T. meets a J.J. Abrams monster but the Spielberg of old was there with the no name case of kids, the epic goodbye and the dialogue.  Not as kid friendly as his movies of the 80’s but every bit as good.  One of the best films I have ever seen.

About Not Clark Kent

Geek, lover of Baseball, avid comic reader, Bruce Lee fan, follower of Jesus and last but Never least Dad and Husband. View all posts by Not Clark Kent

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