Signs of the Sexual Apocalypse

You know the economy is not doing so well when a 27-year-old can not afford reliable sexual pleasure within her budget constraints and must resort to a homemade improvised sexual device.

The young woman and her equally intelligent partner devised a way to put one over on the man.  It’s possible her average everyday Rabbit-Eared vibrator wasn’t doing the trick, and they couldn’t afford to drop some serious cabbage on a high powered state-of-the-art sexorator juiced from a diesel truck battery.  Whatever this couple’s reasoning was, they devised a splendid idea to attach a basic latex dildo to the head of a saber saw and go to town on her “covered wagon.” (Hey this is a family website).  Anyways, the couple obviously not engineers or even qualified to work at  the local Burger King for that matter, never had any thought that maybe it would be a good idea to remove the blade and insert some form of attachment or base to anchor the dildo, nope they just inserted the saw into the dildo.   After what I am sure was a brief moment of intense pleasure the saber saw blade cut THROUGH the latex dildo and into… well you are obviously smarter people then Jane Doe and her cohort and can figure out that they connected the ocean to the mud puddle.

After what I am sure was the most painful moment of her life, the partner called 9-1-1 and she was airlifted by the Maryland State Trooper helicopter to the Prince George Hospital where she was said to have severe injuries.  While they are repairing what I am sure looks mostly like spaghetti right now they should sterilize this woman so she never reproduces offspring in the future.  That is if it is even able to work, or she has desire to ever engage in any sexual acts after this disaster.

Another day, another jackass to add to the growing list.


About Not Clark Kent

Geek, lover of Baseball, avid comic reader, Bruce Lee fan, follower of Jesus and last but Never least Dad and Husband. View all posts by Not Clark Kent

3 responses to “Signs of the Sexual Apocalypse

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