Star Wars: Knights of the… Oh My God!

So like many people today I received my most recent issue of Game Informer and not to my surprise there was an article on the new Star Wars addition, Knights of the Old Republic MMORPG. I full expected to find something after the recent confirmation of the long rumored project out of Bioware and Lucas Arts; but what I found was similar to opening a dirty diaper, I didn’t want it, not at all.

So lets start with the obvious. Did you see the weapons? If not there is one above. Did you catch the lightsaber? So we have one of two problems, either the world of midgets, sorry little people, have invaded the Star Wars interwebs and have yet to find “little lightsabers” since there was only one small person on the Jedi payroll aka yoda. The other option is they hired kids from graphic design 101 at the local community college to do the character build because George knows that regardless of what the level of quality is that the faithful will purchase the product like lemmings and he is maximizing his profit ratio with unpaid interns.

That aside, I could live with simple horrible character builds. After all I am a product of the Atari and Intellivision age and have immensely enjoyed games with far worse graphics ie Pitfall and Donkey Kong.

What I can not forgive is that an MMORPG means for the Star Wars genre.

First, they have already attempted this challenge with the epic failure SW: Galaxies in 2003. If at first you don’t succeed, pound it into the ground until they buy it.

Second, Star Wars is about adventure and action. MMORPG is about cooperation and menial quests as seen in World of Warcraft. Now these are fine qualities in a game such as WoW were the world is about exploration and networking. How will they justify this? Will this game be set during the years of peace that are often referenced in the Star Wars tales of history. I can’t wait to spent $12.99 to create a jedi to help ewoks build bridges and rid spaceports of pesky mynocks.

Third, PCs. It seems like the world is leaning more and more towards laptops and console gaming. Have you seen the specs it takes to run Crysis smoothly at its optimal settings? You need to have a NASA powered processor to keep up with the frame rate. I imagine that it will run like a turtle through mud on my machine.

The one positive I really appreciated was that unlike Wow where you must form “guilds” or “clans” to experience team play, KotOR will allow you to team up with AI team support to help you along your quests. After all, would it be KotOR without our lovable homicidal assassin droid? I think not.

Is there a chance I buy this game? If the hushed rumors that it comes to console are true, yes I will buy it because like above I am one of George Lucas’ lemmings who jumps when he says go. But if like announced it is a PC game, no like Galaxies and Empire at War, these will be Star Wars PC titles I bypass because I am not equipped or partial to PC type gaming.

About Not Clark Kent

Geek, lover of Baseball, avid comic reader, Bruce Lee fan, follower of Jesus and last but Never least Dad and Husband. View all posts by Not Clark Kent

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